My life is so very good right now. I have some great friends friends who are there for me through the good, bad, ugly, and just plain weird. I have a man that loves me and supports me more than I ever imagined. He is also not afraid to tell me when I'm full of shit which is important. I have a beautiful daughter who I love more than I can say. I'm about to move back to a place I love and get to get reaccquainted with friends I left behind. I have a hopeful outlook where education and career are concerned. I love my life and everyone in it. 

Kerowyn has joined Giz and I....we are now a family! Our sweet baby was born at 8:44 AM on 8-28. I actually went imto into labor and everything but thankfully  neither the baby nor I suffered for it. The c-section went perfectly. Kerowyn was born 5 pounds 13 ounces and 17 inches long. She now weighs 5 pounds 7 ounces  so she has not yet back up to birth weigh also she is a bit jundiced both problems are nothing to worry yourselves over as feedings should remedy both. 

We are in Tn again. Baby shower is tomorrow. Baby will be born about a week before her due date. Right now we are 35 weeks 2 days along. We moved into a bigger house and Giz just got a part time job. We don't have net at home yet hopefully we will in the next few weeks.

Got to see Rachel and Kathy yesterday and it was great. I have my powerchair back...huzzah! I also have my computer which I should be able to hook up soon...yay  for Dragon! My mom hurt my feelings a few days ago...oh well her attitude her problem not mine. 24 weeks this coming Wenesday! I hope to see Amber  and everyone soon!

Kerowyn and I are doing well as is Giz. 23 weeks along today and baby is very active. Saturday I will see my mom, Kathy and Rach. I will finally get my chair and computer back...yayness. My back aches alot but oh well. I have the appitite of an elephant  I think LOL. I got signed up with VR...I need to see about going to the health department. I see a nurse from HANDS tomorrow.

Letting you all know that everything is going well. Hopefully I will have an appointment at the health department soon. I am 21 weeks 5 days as of today. I hope to all of my TN friends soon. My nephew is doing great and is now over 3 pounds. I am very blessed to have very caring people around me. I am hoping to get back to school via online classes soon...Gosh I miss school...yes I am a geek. A few days ago I saw my mom for the first time since I left TN. Wenesday is Rachel's B-day and hopefully weekend after the upcoming one I will see her, get my chair and my computer. My dog has minor injuries from a fight but should be fine and ready to join me after Kathy helps him heal. All you Trekkies I highly recommend the new Star Trek movie...Angels and Demons is great too.

Well after fining out last week that our baby is a girl the last several days have consisted of trying to pick a name. Today I finally decided! Her First name is Kerowyn(pronounced Care-o-win) her middle is Anna(which was going to be her middle name regardless of her first) after her Oma. She and I are moving to KY on the 12th and Giz should be there the next day. I know I haven't talked about the move before if you want details beyond being closer to family ask and I message you. We looked at baby things today...which was great...soon comes buying things(before anyone asks I haven't exactly planned a baby shower but I am noty opposed if you ladies wanna do something together(gifts or no gifts I do not care...friendship is the best). Only 20 weeks one day til she's due.

We found out today that our baby is a girl! We were both very suprised because we thought we were having a boy. We have not picked a name yet. She is healthy from all indications. Her growth is right on target...she does not weigh quite as much as is average but it is nothing to be alarmed about. We are thrilled!

On Tuesday we finally get to see our baby! I cannot wait to know for sure if it's a boy or girl. I never dreamed how amazing becoming a parent would feel. Also if anyone is interested I started a livejournal devoted to writing to the baby as well as any others in the future. I am so very happy! My nephew Caleb is doing well.

On the 28th of this month I will have my ultasound and I'm sure we'll know the sex. I am so excited. Also more good news I should have in-home care again soon(a few days).

Everything went well. Got to hear baby's heartbeat...YAY! They are transferring me to the higher risk unit due to my disabilities. So in a couple days I should get a call to schedule my next appointment at which they should do an ultasound and let me know if it's a boy or girl. only sucky part was the dreaded pap smear lol. Should also have home care soon!

I go to my first real doctor's appointment tomorrow. I am excited to see how the baby is doing. I am starting to feel better little by little(not getting sick as much). I am involved in a program that makes a nurse available to me periodically until the baby is two. I am coming out of a bit of a depression and am doing much better at taking care of myself.  If all comes together well I should be able to get the ball rolling about some in-home care soon. Also once I can see an audiologist here I should soon receive new hearing aids(long story) from my old doctor in TN once she has my current info.

So the last few days I haven't been myself(if I hear my mental state chalked up to"just being pregnant" or"just being bipolar" I will have words for the commenter). I've been thinking alot about school. Going back requires that I have VR back. I'd like to attend online classes starting this fall(and continuing until the baby is a bit older) but because any government help always can  take soo much time I can't be sure  I'll get to go back this fall. Also just the aches and pain are draining me a bit. Also are the upcoming issues of getting Home Health care back. I'm obvisously new to the system here. Though there are a few things I'm sure are the same regardless of what state you're in. Giz is hoping to get a job which would have him working at night...now everything would be fine IF Home Heath would provide care during these hours; this is however very unlikely due to a few reasons. 1. I no longer live in a place where CNA's et al. are my only options for help. 2. It's very hard to ever get nighttime care...most times you are not granted night care unless you are far more disabled than I am. 3. Staffing during these hours is always a challenge...not a long line of people volunteer for these night spots. This does not worry me as much now as it will after the baby.So...I have no clue how we'll manage this...any ideas anyone? Also I deal with a small bit of guilt not being around for my sister...yes I know she's an adult and I have every right to live my own life but she's my younger sister and I can't just pretend that I would have ever guessed that I'd not be around if she ever had a child.  Also I'm slowly processing the reality that I will never go back to Easter Seals Camp again. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled with the changes in my life and it's worth it but that does not keep me from being sad that something that was such a huge part of my life is over for good and that as a result I will never see so many of the great people (campers and consoulors) ever again. I know many of you cannot understand why that place and those people meant so much to me...so let me try to explain. My whole life I've been in the minority. I was the one no one knew what to do with so most did nothing.  I wasn't included in 99% of everything that everyone around me was. I was an outsider in every situation. That all changed my Sophomore year in high school. Nicki and Jennifer told me about this place called Easter Seals Camp...it's a camp for kids and adults with disablities of all kinds.  Finally a place I could join in activies etc. with those around me. For the first time I  wasn't the only one in a group who needed help with things that most take for granted. The other campers never made fun of the things I couldn't do...we just enjoyed doing things differently than most people do them. The counsolors were often only a little older than  me and some were my age...heck a couple were younger. Only once in all the times I was there did an able bodied person ever make me feel bad for my limitations...how nice that snide remarks were the exception and not the rule! So yeah Camp is hard to let go of without some sadness. Also messing with me is that tomorrow the year mark since Claude died. I miss him but most of my pain isn't for me but for my mom. She's been through so much. I thought she'd have another chance at happiness...but it was stolen from her all too soon. She's faced alot of challenges this past year...most of her friends don't live very nearby by and I know she certainly needs more than just me and sis to talk to. Also I'm not friends with Angel anymore...I don't hate her but I do not consider her a friend. She has done some things of late that prove me are not as close as I once thought...I will be happier with the drama not going on but a friendship ending is never easy. So for the one of you(yes you Giz) who might be wondering what I really do all day...it's not so much play SL as distract myself a bit while I mull over the seemingly  hundereds of thoughts in my head and try to figure things out.

So I am counting down til 9-23-09. That's the day our precious baby is due to join us. I am 11 weeks 2 days along. Went to get on Medicaid today. Doctors appointments to follow.

I am doing alright. Due to complications getting my bill from verizon so no insurance yet but I'm gonna see if my TnCare and Medicare can help me see a doc and get the necessary prenatal supplements etc. Still dealing with stomach issues too. I found out according to a couple friends I should be due mid October.

just found out Tuesday that I'm pregnant I am thrilled and so is Giz. I am happier than words can say with my life.

Hey all wanted to let ya know I'm doing good. I am very happy here and hope you all are happy as well. My first Christmas out of the south was wonderful. I am happy to report that Angel and Giz both liked their gifts.I am entirely too spoiled. To find out what I got for the holiday send me an email(I have too much to update on so I won't list what I got here). I finally got my grades for fall 2008 back...an A, a B, a pass(pass/fail only course), a D, and an F. while my grades were not super I did maintain a 2.0 for the semester so getting on VR here shouldn't be too bad. I got some exciting news before I left TN...I'm gonna be an aunt!

Tada all I made it to CO safely. I am so very glad to finally be here. Grades were ok but not great.

Moving to CO tomorrow night. I am very happy. No concrete news on my grades from the semester yet.